Rewrite your home page
Guide
·
11 min read
Ask yourself: Why did your last customer actually buy?
Not what you hope - what they'd tell their friend at the gym. Can't answer specifically? That confusion is killing your conversion rate.
So you write "ethically sourced," "small batch," "artisanal." Sounds meaningful. Means nothing. Your customer doesn't care about your passion story. They care that the bar doesn't taste like chalk and actually keeps them full until lunch.
Meanwhile, your homepage says "Revolutionizing nutrition through innovative plant-based solutions." Quest's says "Protein bars. 20g. No sugar." Guess whose conversion rate is 13% while yours hovers at 2%?
The problem isn't your product. It's that you're writing for investors, not humans with credit cards.
This guide rewrites your homepage in 8 sections. Not with marketing templates that sound smart. With psychological triggers that make people buy. Each section answers a question your visitor actually asks. Miss one, lose the sale.
CPG brands fail because they write what they think sounds good instead of what actually converts. Fix this today, or keep losing to inferior products with clearer copy.
First section takes 10 minutes. Start there.
The 8-Section Rewrite System
Section 1 of 8
Hero - Above the Fold
The Hero is your above-the-fold command center - the first thing visitors see before scrolling. It includes your header, subheader, and primary call-to-action. This 500-pixel rectangle determines whether visitors stay or bounce.
Visitors give you 3 seconds to answer "What is this?" and "Is it for me?" If your hero doesn't instantly communicate what you sell to who, they leave. Not because they're impatient - because clarity exists elsewhere. 70% never scroll past this section.
What We're Fixing:
"Welcome to [Brand]" headers that say nothing. Revolutionary/innovative/premium language that means nothing. Mission statements instead of product descriptions. Making visitors work to understand what you sell.
Their Question:
"What is this and is it for me?"
Example Current Copy:
"Welcome to the future of sustainable nutrition"
Why It's Dead:
Takes 5 seconds to understand nothing. They're already gone.
The Psychology:
Visitors give you 3 seconds. Not to impress them. To tell them what you sell. If they can't figure it out instantly, they leave. Not because they're lazy. Because Amazon trained them that clarity exists elsewhere.
The Formula:
[Product] for [specific person] who [specific problem/desire]
+
[One specific benefit they'll feel]
+
[Button that continues the story]
+
[One specific benefit they'll feel]
+
[Button that continues the story]
Fill-in Template
Header:
"We make _______ for _______ who _______"
Subheader:
"You'll _______ without _______"
Button:
"[Verb] [Product]" (not "Learn More")
CPG Example
Before:
"Revolutionizing snacktime through mindful ingredients"
After:
"Protein bars for busy parents who won't eat their kids' snacks. 15g protein that tastes like dessert, not sadness. → See Why Parents Switch"
Test
Show someone your hero for 3 seconds. Can they tell you what you sell? If no, rewrite.
Section 2 of 8
Best Sellers / Featured Products
This section showcases your top products immediately after the hero. It's not just a product grid - it's social proof disguised as shopping options. You're showing what other people actually buy, which creates trust before visitors even know they're being influenced.
People don't trust you yet. But they trust crowds. When they see "2,847 bought this week," they think "if that many people chose it, it must be good." This section gives permission to choose by showing what others chose.
What We're Fixing:
Random product grids with no hierarchy. Equal weight to all products creating choice paralysis. No social signals about what's popular. Generic descriptions that could be for any brand.
Their Question:
"What do people actually buy?"
Example Current Copy:
"Our Collection" with 47 products
Why It's Dead:
Paralysis by choice. They need permission to pick one.
The Psychology:
People don't trust you yet. But they trust other people. Showing what others buy is social proof disguised as product display. It says "people like you chose this one."
The Formula:
"[Number] people bought this [timeframe]"
+
[Specific result they got]
+
[Price + Subscribe option]
+
[Specific result they got]
+
[Price + Subscribe option]
Fill-in Template
Section Header:
"What _______ Customers Start With"
Product Badge:
"_______ bought this week"
Product Description:
"[Product name]: [Specific benefit], not [common problem]"
CPG Example
Before:
"Variety Pack - Our signature collection of artisanal flavors"
After:
"Starter Pack: 2,847 bought this week. All 3 flavors. Know which one you'll reorder by box 2. $39 (or $29/month)"
Test
Can someone buy your bestseller in 2 taps? If no, simplify.
Section 3 of 8
Our Story / About Us
The story section proves you're a real company with real humans who care about the product. It's not about your passion - it's about proving you'll exist next month, answer emails, and aren't dropshipping from AliExpress.
Every dropshipper has a mission statement. What they don't have is specificity. One real moment that started your company does more for trust than ten paragraphs of corporate vision. Make it personal, specific, and include a way to contact you directly.
What We're Fixing:
Generic passion statements copied from template sites. Corporate origin stories with no human element. Missing contact information. No proof the founder exists or cares about customers.
Their Question:
"Is this another dropshipper or someone who gives a damn?"
Example Current Copy:
"Our passion for wellness began..."
Why It's Dead:
Every dropshipper has passion. Nobody cares.
The Psychology:
They're not buying your story. They're buying proof you'll exist next month. That you'll answer emails. That you're not reselling AliExpress garbage. Make it personal, specific, real.
The Formula:
[Specific origin moment]
+
[Why existing options failed you]
+
[What you did differently]
+
[Proof you're still obsessed]
+
[Why existing options failed you]
+
[What you did differently]
+
[Proof you're still obsessed]
Fill-in Template
"Started in [specific place] when [specific incident].
Every [product category] had [specific problem].
So we [specific action] until [specific breakthrough].
[Time period] later, we still [obsessive behavior]."
CPG Example
Before:
"Founded in 2019 with a mission to revolutionize nutrition through sustainable practices and ethical sourcing..."
After:
"Started in my Portland kitchen when my daughter wouldn't eat anything with protein. Every bar tasted like cardboard dipped in fake chocolate. So I made 94 versions until she ate three in one sitting. Four years later, I still text customers for feedback at 11pm."
Test
Would a friend tell this story at dinner? If no, too corporate.
Section 4 of 8
Social Proof / Testimonials
Customer testimonials that mirror your visitor's exact situation. Not generic 5-star reviews - specific stories from specific people with specific doubts who got specific results. This is where visitors see themselves and think "if it worked for them, it'll work for me."
Generic testimonials look fake. But when someone reads "Marathon runner, 47, Denver, didn't believe plant protein worked" and they're a 45-year-old runner in Boulder, that's a mirror. The more specific the person and result, the more it converts.
What We're Fixing:
Vague testimonials that could be for any product. Obviously fake or incentivized reviews. No context about who the reviewer is. Generic praise without specific outcomes or situations.
Their Question:
"Did this work for someone exactly like me?"
Example Current Copy:
"⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Great product! -Sarah"
Why It's Dead:
Generic. Could be fake. Proves nothing.
The Psychology:
They don't believe you. They believe specifics from people like them. The more specific the person and result, the more it converts. Doubt + outcome = belief.
The Formula:
[Specific person] with [specific doubt]
+
[Specific discovery]
+
[Specific measurable result]
+
[Specific discovery]
+
[Specific measurable result]
Fill-in Template
"[Description of person], [age/location], [skepticism]:
'[Specific complaint → specific result]'"
CPG Example
Before:
"Customers love our bars!"
After:
"Marathon runner, 47, Denver, didn't believe plant protein worked: 'Switched from Clif Bars. Stopped hitting the wall at mile 18. PR'd by 7 minutes.'"
Test
Remove the product name. Could this review be for any product? If yes, too vague.
Section 5 of 8
Unique Features / Why Us
This section answers why someone should buy from you instead of Amazon, Target, or any other option one click away. Not generic benefits everyone claims - structural advantages that mass market literally cannot match because of their scale.
They're comparison shopping. Amazon is one tab over. Target is down the street. Don't tell them you're "premium" or "quality" - show them what you do that giants can't. Make their size a weakness and your size an advantage.
What We're Fixing:
Benefits everyone claims like "premium quality" or "sustainable." Features that aren't actually unique. Missing the real advantages of being small - freshness, direct contact, transparency.
Their Question:
"Why shouldn't I just buy the Target version for half the price?"
Example Current Copy:
"Premium Quality. Sustainable. Small Batch."
Why It's Dead:
Everyone says this. Means nothing. Changes nothing.
The Psychology:
They're comparison shopping. Amazon is one tab over. Target is down the street. Don't tell them you're better. Show them what you do that giants can't.
The Formula:
"Unlike [mass market alternative], we [specific difference]"
+
"Which means you [specific experience/result]"
+
[Proof point]
+
"Which means you [specific experience/result]"
+
[Proof point]
Fill-in Template
Feature 1:
"Made [specific frequency]: [benefit], not [mass market problem]"
Feature 2:
"We [specific action]: You [specific result]"
Feature 3:
"[Specific ingredient/process]: [What it does for them]"
CPG Example
Before:
"✓ All Natural ✓ Non-GMO ✓ Sustainable"
After:
–
"Made weekly: Fresh for 14 days, not 14 months"
–
"Text the founder: Response in hours, not bot hell"
–
"Dates instead of sugar: Energy without the 3pm crash"
Test
Would Amazon/Target do this? If yes, find something else.
Section 6 of 8
Content / Education
This section provides value through education, positioning you as an expert without being preachy. It's not about driving blog traffic - it's about demonstrating expertise in 30 seconds so they trust you know what you're doing.
Nobody clicks "Visit Our Blog!" But everyone wants to know if you actually understand your category. One surprising fact about your industry, explained simply, builds more trust than any amount of "we're experts" claims.
What We're Fixing:
Generic blog CTAs nobody clicks. Hidden expertise that could build trust. Fluffy content that teaches nothing. Missing the chance to educate while they're interested.
Their Question:
"Do you actually know anything or just sell stuff?"
Example Current Copy:
"Visit Our Blog!"
Why It's Dead:
Nobody visits blogs. They need value here, now.
The Psychology:
Trust comes from expertise shown, not claimed. Teach them something useful in 30 seconds. They'll trust you know the other stuff too.
The Formula:
"The truth about [common misconception]"
+
[One surprising fact]
+
[What it means for them]
+
[One surprising fact]
+
[What it means for them]
Fill-in Template
Content Header
"What [Industry] Won't Tell You"
Teaser 1
"[Common belief] is actually [truth]"
Teaser 2
"Why [ingredient/process] matters: [specific reason]"
CPG Example
Before:
"Check out our blog for recipes and wellness tips!"
After:
"Why 'Natural Flavoring' means beaver glands: The FDA allows 3,000+ chemicals under this label. Here's what's really in your 'natural' protein bar → 2 min read"
Test
Did they learn something in 5 seconds? If no, sharper hook needed.
Section 7 of 8
Newsletter Signup
Your email capture that actually provides value instead of begging for signups. This isn't about building your list - it's about offering something so valuable that giving their email feels like a bargain, not a favor.
Email is currency. Every other site is begging for it. Stand out by being specific about what they get, when they get it, and how easy it is to leave. The clearer the value exchange, the higher the signup rate.
What We're Fixing:
Generic "Join our newsletter" with no value proposition. Vague promises of "updates and deals." Asking for too much information upfront. No clear frequency or unsubscribe promise.
Their Question:
"What's in it for me?"
Example Current Copy:
"Subscribe to our newsletter!"
Why It's Dead:
That's what's in it for you, not them.
The Psychology:
Email is currency. They're paying you with access to their attention. What do they get in return? Be specific. Be valuable. Be different from the 47 other newsletters begging.
ng.
The Formula
"Get [specific valuable thing]"
+
"Without [common newsletter annoyance]"
+
[Frequency promise]
+
"Without [common newsletter annoyance]"
+
[Frequency promise]
Fill-in Template
Header
"Get _______"
Subheader
"[Specific value]. No [specific annoyance]. [Frequency]."
Button
"[Value verb]" (not "Subscribe")
CPG Example
Before:
"Join our mailing list for updates and promotions!"
After:
"Get the buying guide Target doesn't want you to see. Which 'healthy' bars are candy in disguise. Once monthly. Unsubscribe without hunting. → Get the Guide"
Mobile Rules
Email field only (no name)
One tap to submit
Value visible without scrolling
Test
Would you give your real email for this? If no, increase value or decrease ask.
Section 8 of 8
Final Call-to-Action
The last chance to convert visitors who've read everything but haven't acted. This isn't a repeat of your first CTA - it addresses the specific hesitation of someone who's interested but needs one final push.
They scrolled this far. They're interested but something's stopping them. Address that friction directly. Maybe it's price, maybe it's trust, maybe it's timing. Your final CTA should remove that last barrier between interest and action.
What We're Fixing:
Repeating the same "Shop Now" button that already didn't work. Ignoring the obvious hesitation. Missing the chance to address their specific doubt. Weak urgency that doesn't motivate action.
Their Question:
"What if I'm still not sure?"
Example Current Copy:
"Shop Now"
Why It's Dead:
They already saw that button 5 times. Didn't work then, won't work now.
The Psychology:
They scrolled this far. They're interested but hesitating. Address the hesitation directly. Remove the final friction. Make inaction feel riskier than action.
The Formula:
"Still [acknowledge hesitation]?"
+
[Remove specific friction]
+
[What happens if they don't act]
+
[Remove specific friction]
+
[What happens if they don't act]
Fill-in Template
Header:
"Still _______?"
Offer:
"[Specific friction remover]"
Button:
"[Specific next step]"
CPG Example
Before:
"Ready to shop? Visit our store!"
After:
"Still comparing to Quest? Try both. One-time purchase. Free shipping. Quest won't refund if you hate theirs. We will. → Order Your Taste Test"
Test
Does this address their actual hesitation? Ask your last 10 almost-customers what stopped them.
The Rewrite Checklist
Before you publish, verify:
Hero: Mom understands what you sell in 3 seconds
Best Sellers: Shows what others buy, not what you want to push
Story: Proves you're not a dropshipper
Social Proof: Specific person got specific result
Unique Features: Things Amazon literally cannot do
Content: They learned something in 30 seconds
Newsletter: Clear value exchange, not "updates"
Final CTA: Addresses their actual hesitation
The One-Hour Rewrite Process
1.
Screenshot your current homepage on mobile
2.
Circle every vague claim ("premium," "innovative," "passionate")
3.
Fill the 8 templates with specifics
4.
Read aloud while scrolling with your thumb
5.
Cut 50% of words
6.
Test on someone who doesn't know your brand
Start Now
Don't rewrite all 8 sections today. Just fix your hero. Ten minutes.
Your current hero probably says something like "Welcome to [Brand Name]" or "Natural Goodness for Modern Life."
Delete it. Write what you sell, who it's for, and why they care. In plain English.
That's it. That's the start.
Tomorrow, fix section 2.
By next week, your homepage will convert like it should have all along.
Your protein bar IS better than Quest's.
Time to write like it.
Building
a
brand
on
Shopify,
or
anything
with
AI?
I'd
love
to
hear
what
you're
working
on.